Using the ASK Form

  • Teach children how to accept responsibility and accountability for their actions.
  • Promote a powerful sense of trust and acknowledgement.
  • Instill an awareness of personal safety and parental reassurance.
  • Prioritize conflicting demands and opportunities.
  • Encourage children to consider availability of parental time and other resources.
  • Create a record of events for journal keeping (names, address, phone numbers, etc.), as well as serving as an important resource for future occasions (graduation, marriage, etc.)


Why Use It?

 In short, it helps to reduce the worry to parents, while encouraging independence in their children by promote a strong family in ways that.

 For many parents and children, organizing activities is often a chaotic affair that may sometimes leads to frustration, disappointment, and angry feelings.  Much of this difficulty is caused by the lack of a child’s experience in organizing and prioritizing their time, interests and resources. 

 Planning outings and events with friends often leads to parental frustration and feelings of being held captive. With little time for serious parental consideration and discussion, a resulting “No!” is issued which may seem very unfair to the child, and thus in fact may be ignored.  And of course, there is the argument, “You NEVER let me do anything!”

 Sometimes, parents can panic when they aren’t sure where the child is and he or she is not responding to their cell phone.  Spending time to frantically track down contact information to other parents, or friends, to learn what is happening is NOT the best thing during an emergency.

 What happens if my child doesn’t like the ASK system?

 Of course, most children not like using this seemingly repetitive form of asking for permission, and some parents will even find it a bother – at first!  But, the very first time an emergency should arise, or long forgotten contact information is needed, the benefit will be immediate. 

 There is however a secret to the success of the ASK system – initial parental error. 

 Yes, parental error! 

 That is to say, within a few weeks of implementing the system allow your children to exercise the importance of having an advanced signed ASK agreement. 

  • Plan an evening out that is in conflict with a previously approved activity requiring you to pick-up/drop-off, etc. 

When the child discovers the ASK form works to their benefit, too, and you forego your evening’s activity to honor a previously approved request, the children’s acceptance of the ASK form is usually near instantaneous.

Finally, while the ASK form is proven to be effective as designed, your family may choose to make changes in the Minimum Notices Required, Emergency Contact Information, Activity Determinations or other features.  So please, experiment and make modifications that are right for you and your children.  Taking an active parenting interest that involves everyone in the household will certainly help to develop and maintain a strong, healthy family.